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seven Myths About Creating A
Better Relationship by: Cecil McIntosh In my private practice for over onefour years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always beenissue aboutbetter relationship. Here are seven ofmost common misconceptions my clients have related to me about havingbetter relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them. Myth one I have to love everything about my partner Reality Check one You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you aboutbetter relationship). These behaviors have becomebackbone for your way of living and havingbetter relationship. Perhapscommon behavior that irritates havingbetter relationship would be leavingtoilet seat up after use. This is merelybehavior and notessence ofperson. However, when you may consider this behavior to beperson, this destroysconcept ofbetter relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need forbetter relationship. Myth two Love means that I can fix your partner Reality Check two You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow intobetter relationship. You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experiencequality of your partner andbeauty within you, as you begin to enjoybetter relationship. Myth three I am supposed to give upthings I like in order to be inbetter relationship. Reality Check three Giving upthings you like to be inbetter relationship is like takeknife and cutting awaypart of yourself. Your better relationship is based onuniqueness of you and your partner. When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself ofbetter relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity. Myth four I will be rescued byknight in shining armour Reality Check four You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you. Your responsibility in creatingbetter relationship, is to bring your passion totable of your relationship. Some days you will be knight in shining armour and another day your partner will beknight in shining armour ofbetter relationship. You will each getchance to shine like star inbetter relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses. Myth five It costlot to be inrelationship Reality Check five Inmaterial context,better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based onbigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be atexpense of creatingbetter relationship. Love is creatingbetter relationship by buildingrelationship that is based onsimple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going onpicnic (justtwo of you), or sharingice cream. Love inbetter relationship is not about what you show onoutside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is. Myth six Love inrelationship is or is notfeeling Reality Check six It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love isaction of doing. If you makecup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wantstea or not is irrelevant, it isthought that counts andaction that cements better relationship. Myth seven I do not have to work at my relationship Reality Check seven Aschild, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned letters ofalphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences. These sentences then becomeway in which you communicated. When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use letters ofalphabet in sentences, it's like two tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoybetter relationship. In summary: one. Your partner's behavior inbetter relationship is not your partner's true essence. two. There is no need to haveclone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety. three. Giving up of your uniqueness to be inbetter relationship is like throwing outbaby withbath water. four. Inbetter relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners. five. Love in creatingbetter relationship is not about money and material assets (although there are important) butsimple things in life. six. Love inbetter relationship is active not passive. seven. Lack of communication crushes your desire forbetter relationship. |
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