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Don't IgnoreSigns: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship |
by:
Keishia Lee Louis |
Emotional infidelity can start withsimple hi orwink. It begins inboardroom orchatroom. One spouse says, "What'sproblem? We're only friends."
The other spouse can't believereassurances. Sojealousy builds andwedge is driven between partners. Sometimes nothing really is going on, and sometimesaffair is in progress. It's onlymatter of time.
So how can you tell if your spouse ispotential cheater? How can you stoprelationship from becoming romantic outside of your marriage? Here are five topics to think about before determining if your marriage is indanger zone.
one. Secrecy: Do you feel as though your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend? Or do you hidedetails of your platonic relationship from your spouse? If so, why? It's best not to keep secrets from your partner, even if you think he or she will be hurt, angry or jealous. If you wantsuccessful relationship, trust and honesty isone factor for marriage that should not be compromised.
two. Displaced Trust: Is information that should only be shared between husband andwife, shared outside ofrelationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of your partner's shortcomings are best left withinconstructs of your marriage relationship.
three. Comparing: Does your spouse compare you to friend(s) ofopposite sex often? Or do YOU feel as though your spouse could improve inareas that your special friend excels? Comparing once or twice may not beproblem, but habitual comparison iswarning sign.
four. Time Management: What type of time do you spend together asmarried couple? Is it mainly dutiful, like paying bills or going to conferences forkids? Or do you actually date-- one-on-one, no kids, family or friends around? If not, and you find yourself, or your partner, engaged in date like activities outside of your relationship, stop it. Either invite your spouse or do not do it anymore. Coffee talk can turn to pillow talk inblink ofeye.
five. Attraction: Do you feel as though your spouse likeway his/her special friend looks? Are you attracted toway your friend looks orway he/she does something? If so, address this issue with your partner and then try to refocus your attention on each other, rather thanoutside party.
If three to five of these topics need to be addressed in your marriage, I urge you to get professional help either from your religious leader or fromprofessional counselor.
Keishia Lee-Louis isEditor and Publisher of http://www.MarriedfourGood.com (launching November twozerozerofive). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other printed publications.
Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writingbook on marriage and relationships which will be published Spring twozerozerosix.
If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://marriedfourgood.blogspot.com
This article is free for republishing
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