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GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS |
by:
Robert Najemy |
GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS
Robert Elias Najemy
>From our Conscious Love Relationships Program at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/relationships/index.asp
We suggest that you use this questionnaire to gain greater clarity
before answeringbasic questionnaire.
A. have you had previous relationships: If yes:
one. Are there specific types of partners that you attract or are attracted
to?
two. Is therecertain type of partner towards which you feel aversion?
three. Were you happy in these relationships?
four. In general did you leaverelationship or didother?
five. What do you believe werefactors that playedrole in these
relationships not working out?
six. Did you playrole in their not working out? If so what was your
contribution?
seven. Do you notice any patterns in your relationship situations and
interactions?
If so which?
eight. What lessons might you be able to learn from these previous
relationships?
nine. Were there also very pleasant and positive moments in those
relationships? If so, which?
B. Your parental prototypes:
one. How would you describeyour parental prototypes:
a. Your Mother
b. Your Father
c. The relationship between them –ways in which they interacted and
communicated – or did not.
d. Your own relationship with you mother
e. Your own relationship with your father.
two. Were there behavioral similarities between any of your previous partners
and one or more of your parents. If yes,
A. Which were they?
B. What might you need to learn by having «chosen – assoul» to have
number of close persons with similar behaviors?
C. What do you want to learn or do in relationship to that?
C. Is theredifference between what society and / or your parents want for
you and what you want fromrelationship? What do you want to do about
that?
D. What is important for you to have in your relationship.
(Have in mind that you might be able to have all of these, and maybe not.
You might have to choose or sacrifice.)
__one. To haverelationship at any cost. To havepartner, children,
family?
__two. To be in love with someone?
__three. To be loved by someone?
__four. To be able to share feelings and thoughts with someone?
__five. To havelively and interesting interaction with someone?
__six. To be socially accepted because you are married?
___seven. To haverelationship so as to be able to have children?
___eight. To haverelationship in order to feel worthy to others.
___nine. To haverelationship in order to feel safe and secure?
___onezero.To haverelationship so that there will be someone at home with me –
especially inevenings.
Other needs that you hope to have satisfied throughrelationship.
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
E. Have you noticed that you might have certain doubts, concerns or fears
about creatingcommitted personal relationship. If so why? Consider
following possibilities.
one. We might fear intimacy because we fear:
a. Being abandoned
b. Being suppressed
c. Being hurt
d. Rejection
e. That we will not be able to be ourselves
f. If they know us deeper, they will not will not want to be with us.
two. We might feel vulnerable and afraid of being hurt if we are open and
loving and prefer to keepemotional distance.
three. We do not want to giveotheridea that he or she can do whatever
he or she likes with us.
four. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize
their mistakes.
five. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed
with us.
six. We want to placeblame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our
lives on someone else who is "responsible".
seven. We falsely believe that love requires that we must let this person do
whatever he or she wants – regardless of ethics or justice – and that this
would be totally unacceptable.
eight. We have identified withrole ofvictim and need to feel hurt and
abused.
nine. We are inrole ofinterrogator and need to find others’ faults.
onezero. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be
an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected.
oneone. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us.
onetwo. We have been seriously hurt by this person and cannot overcome this
bitterness.
If you have been affected by these or other obstacles what can you do to get
free?
F. Do you feel unhappy alone?
Forfew days?
Forlong time?
If so, what obstructs you from being happy even when you are alone?
one. Are you afraid when alone?
two. Do you feel less worthy when alone?
three. Are you bored when alone?
four. Do you not know what to do with your time?
five. Do you feel that there is no meaning to life, when you are alone?
five. Do you feel badly becauseothers are in relationships and you are
not?
six. What emotions do you have when you think:
a. That you do not haverelationship at this moment?
b. That you have not hadrelationship for some time?
c. That your previous relationships have not worked out?
d. That some others have relationships and you do not?
seven. What do you want or need to do in order to feel better alone until you
meetright person?
eight. What do you believe will change in your life if you havelove partner?
What will you have that you do not have now?
-----------------------article ends-----------------------
******************************************
Robert Elias Najemy,life coach with threezero years of experience, has trained
over threezerozero Life coaches and now does so overInternet. Info at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He isauthor of over twozero books, sixzerozero articles and fourzerozero lecture cassettes on
Human Harmony. Download FREE onezerozero's of articles, find wonderful ebooks,
guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology
are available at http://www.amazon.com
|
Robert Elias Najemy,life coach with threezero years of experience, has trained
over threezerozero Life coaches and now does so overInternet. Info at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He isauthor of over twozero books, sixzerozero articles and fourzerozero lecture cassettes on
Human Harmony. Download FREE onezerozero's of articles, find wonderful ebooks,
guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology
are available at http://www.amazon.com
Contact him at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com |
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